The Trickiest Language...

We'll begin with a BOX, and the plural is BOXES;
But the plural of
OX should be OXEN, not oxes.
Then one fowl is
GOOSE, but two are called GEESE;
Yet the plural of
moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone MOUSE or a whole lot of MICE;
But the plural of
HOUSE is HOUSES, not hice.
If the plural of
MAN is always called MEN,
Why shouldn't the plural of
pan be called pen?

The
COW in the plural may be COWS or KINE.
But the plural of
VOW is VOWS, not vine.
And I speak of a
FOOT and you show me your FEET.
But I give you a
boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a
TOOTH and whole set are TEETH,
Why shouldn't the plural of
booth be called beeth?
If the singular is
THIS, and the plural is THESE,
Should the plural of
kiss be nicknamed kese?

Then one may be
THAT, and three may be THOSE,
Yet the plural of
hat would never be hose.
We speak of a
BROTHER, and also of the BRETHREN.
But though we say
mother, we never say methren.

The masculine pronouns are
he, his and him.
But imagine the feminine
she, shis, and shim!
So our English, I think you will agree,
Is
the trickiest language you ever did see!

 

(Anon.)


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